HSPs and Being a "Passenger" in your own life

I'll be the first to admit that the world can be a "grating" sort of place, and much of the time, I'd prefer to just stay at home with my books and my cats, over being "out there" in a big way.

However, when does liking "quiet time" turn from something we enjoy, and which helps us stay balanced and sane... into a form of "unhealthy isolation?" I have seen this, quite a bit, in an alarmingly large proportion of the many many HSPs I have met, over the past 8-10 years.

Along with that, I've observed another somewhat disturbing "habit" or trend. Most HSPs want to be participants in life, and what it has to offer. They even have a clear sense of what that participation entails. But that's pretty much where things end; participation remains a wish or dream, but never a reality.

As an example, I have met many who recognized their desire to be part of a local discussion/support group. Some even living in a city where a group had already formed. Yet, in spite of the desire to meet other HSPs, these people were almost completely unwilling to make the effort to become part of the group. It almost felt to me as if they expected the group leader to magically show up on their doorstep with an invitation. And then to come and personally pick them up, and drive them home again, on the days of meetings.

Which begs the question: "How can we honestly expect our lives to change for the better, if we're not willing to put in the effort to change our lives for the better?"

I guess the point I am trying to make, here, is that if you're waiting for the things you want in life to "just show up," you're allowing yourself to be little more than a "passenger" in your own life, rather than a participant. And, as a passenger-- I'm sad to tell you-- you don't get to have much say in where you end up. In a sense, most of those people who feel "victimized" by their life circumstances can also look within and notice how often they have often been "passengers."

I wonder how this plays out in your life? Do you recognize the places where you are limiting your experiences through expectations that whatever it is you want "should" not require effort and input from you? Do you recognize the places where you have "wished for" something, but never taken steps towards that something?

For me, it has been a matter of learning to stay alert to the gap between "wanting" and "having" something. Don't get me wrong, however. "Wanting" is fine, if you're happy with that, but "having" almost always requires effort, intent and an investment of emotional energy.

"Afterbirth?"

Sometimes things just don't quite turn out as simply as I'd hope.

All old entries from this blog's former life have now been "recovered" and "republished" so the archive links actually work. It was more work than I had expected. The "links" sections (at right) have also been updated and "dead" links killed.

In the process of this update, all comments under the "old" format were lost. When I started this blog, commenting wasn't part of the blogging interface-- we had to "import and install" a commenting utility from a third-party provider. Evidently, those comments didn't "translate" to the current format. Not as if there were ever more than a couple of comments per post... but still.

Anyway, if it's your first visit here, welcome! If you are here, reading these words, odds are you clicked on a link in my HSPBook signature line, or perhaps my aimoo HSP forum signature line, or maybe from a link at "Inner Reflections" or "HSP Connections." In any case, thanks for visiting!

If you have the time and inclination, there's some reasonably good "HSP life" info buried in the archives.

And I'd appreciate you leaving a comment to say hi, just so I know you've been here!

Rebirth

I have decided to revive this old blog, which I somewhat abandoned when I started the "Inner Reflections" blog on a different site. "Something" in my soul told me I needed to, and that it was time. I suppose, in part, because I have remained fairly involved in the HSP Community, and it would seem like a nice extension of the "HSP Connections" web site and resource guide.

Unfortunately, this is turning out to be more work than I had expected. I was using a very old template-- heavily customized-- from the early days of "blogger," and when I went to edit it the source code was no longer accessible. So I chose this nifty new template. Only... there was a problem. The problem was that every single old entry could no longer be seen... I could see them all from within the post editor, but from "public view" all that could be seen was a series of "404-Not Found" messages.

As a result of this, I have to open every post with the editor and save it again... which evidently "republishes" it with a valid URL, instead of the old one that leads nowhere. Remind me not to overcustomize this template....