What do You Want to Write About Today?

One of the things I often struggle with is that I have far "too many" interests.

Maybe we should scratch that and instead say there are far too many things in life that are interesting. Just because something is interesting doesn't necessarily make them "an interest," just means something interesting enough that I want to find out more.

And that's how I often end up going off track and wasting time doing something other than what I'm supposed to be doing.

It is one of the sometimes challenging side effects of not only being an HSP, but being an HSP who is afflicted with that thing our modern society likes to call ADHD. Of course I'm not particularly afflicted with the "H" (Hyperactivity) part of ADHD, mostly I'm just chronically inattentive and daydreaming.

When it comes to the question of "what do I want to write about today," I don't pose it merely as a reflection of what I'm going to write on this blog but as a reflection of the fact that I have multiple blogs and websites that I could be writing something on.

But let's make it one level more complicated!

I can ask myself the question of what do I want to write about today, but there's also a greater question of whether I want to work on art today, or should I work on my stamp business today, or work on editing today, or might I end up working on something completely different today.

That's a different "side effect," namely the side effect of being independent and self-employed, rather than having a structured job that I need to go to at a specific time every day to do some specific kind of task.

I gave up having a structured job many years ago. On the balance I would say that I wouldn't trade in the life I now have for anything, but one of the benefits that having a regular job does offer is a kind of structure and that can be important if you are naturally inclined to be wildly unstructured in your approach to living.

And so, I come here asking myself the question what do I want to write about today? And what do I even want to do today?

Let me underscore for the record that this isn't necessarily an HSP issue, it's just a being alive issue in my world. Still, I am an HSP and this is a blog about life as an HSP so somehow there would be at least some peripheral relevance to my posting this.

Much as I hate to admit it, the only approach I have really found to effectively manage my tendency to be very scattered is to make lists and schedules.

Ironic that, given that I hate being constrained by rules and schedules! And yet? Here I am touting the benefits of precisely those things.

So what is this post really about?

Well, it's about the fact that we shouldn't wholesale reject any one thing just because we don't like what it suggests or represents... because ultimately it tends to turn out that there are parts of both things we like and things we don't like that become useful to us and parts of those same things that are not useful to us.

Yes, it sounds a bit convoluted, I know.

The challenge becomes a discern what's useful, and then to make the most of ways to maximize the benefit for our own purposes.

I don't claim to have any secrets to doing so! It's a constant work in progress… as is, I suppose, this entire experiment of living. 

And with that thought, I'm probably going to go somewhere else, and write something else!

---

I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

A Life of Noise Sensitivity and Feeling Like I was BORN Overstimulated

Sometimes I have a feeling that I was actually born overwhelmed (or "overstimulated"), as it were. 

It seems like as far as back as I can remember I was always very hesitant to get involved in anything that made noise or in anything that had "flashy moving colors" or anything like that. At the same time, it seemed like I always wanted to do very "adult" things when I was a young kid... even though my mother was always "strongly encouraging" (read: "Forcing") me to get out there and do things that allegedly "healthy" kids were supposed to do. 

But I just didn't want to; it felt like having my head inside a garbage grinder or a drum that somebody was randomly beating on.

When I look back at many of my moments of great anxiety and terror, I can also clearly recall that most of them involved something that was very loud and in my face and made me feel like I just was going to explode if they continued. And it was on occasions like that represented pretty much the only times I remember the words "don't mind him, he's just too sensitive!" actually coming out of my mother's mouth.

If course, they were far more of a criticism and excuse than any kind of supportiveness of my sensitivity.

My maternal grandfather thought I would be interested in seeing the trains, so we'd walk down to the nearby rail line. I did love looking at the trains... as long as they were just parked. When they were actually passing by, I wanted to be several hundred yards away!

I just wanted things around me to be quiet; soft.

Of course, they never were... except when I'd ride my bicycle out into the nearby woods to be with myself and nature.

Ironically, I ended up working at my dad's bottle cap factory when I was in my teens... one of the noisiest environments you could possibly imagine. Think of the sound of a cascade of metal bottle caps raining onto a resonant hard surface, and you get the idea. I wore earplugs and gradually adjusted to the dull roar because about $8 an hour was a LOT of money in 1974, and when you were just a 14-year old kid!

Noise has an interesting effect on my system... it doesn't matter what the source is, it feels like it is slowly sucking the life force out of my very being. That can even be applied to ostensibly "enjoyable" noise like rock concerts, or even loud car stereos.

Needless to say, I never went through a "headbanger music" phase!

I still go to great lengths to avoid noisy situations, and turn down many invitations if I get the sense that they will be very loud. My preferred noise level is to sit somewhere with no human-made sounds, just listening to the sound of waves and wind rustling the leaves of the trees.

---

I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!